Father's Day

I find that Father’s Day is often as hard as Mother’s Day.  I have the same feelings and struggles on Father’s Day as I do on Mother’s Day.  I love celebrating all the amazing men and Father’s in my life.  I have been very blessed with amazing male role models and the best Father in the World. 

 This year we celebrated quietly at home.  The only thing I did was get my husband a card.  I guess this surprised him.  I figured with the way I feel about these holidays and our lack of children that I wouldn’t do anything.   My hubby was very excited at my sweet little show of affection.  He wasn’t expecting a card.  I guess in my own little way I acknowledged the holiday and him as a potential Father.  Who knew that such a little act could make all the difference on an otherwise hard day.

Armchair Doctors

I have noticed that in sharing our infertility journey and story with those around us we have run into a curious phenomenon. It’s called the armchair doctor. It seems like everyone has a solution or diagnosis for our infertility. It seems like everyone is now a doctor! I love that all our family and friends want to help us and love us a lot. (This is evident by the show of support and encouragement we receive.) What we hate is the diagnosis. The fact that the diagnosis and the solutions to our infertility range from the crazy to the semi sane. We (particularly me) sometime just want to scream. “Why don’t you leave this stuff to the professionals?” We think that people tend to think they are helping when they try to find a solution to the problem but the truth of the matter is that most people dealing with infertility are already searching for the solution. We are usually exhausting every option. We are trying everything even sometimes when we know it won't work. We are usually seeking professional help and sometimes more than one or two opinions at a time with doctors.

Infertility Etiquette

Did you know that there is etiquette involved in dealing with family or friends that have infertility issues? I don’t think most people know this (At least not in some of our experiences). So, I decided to share a few links on how to support family and friends in dealing with Infertility. This is an education on "how to" and a little bit of "what not to do" in dealing with infertility. There are those who are aware or instinctively get that there is etiquette. For those of you who get it consider this a refresher course. I know that I love the advice and information that is offered in these links and wanted to share it so that it might benefit others dealing with infertility.

• http://www.ldsinfertility.org/supporting/
• http://www.myinfertilityguide.com/guide_for_family_and_friends.htm
• http://128.187.77.10:697/Article.aspx?a=2
• http://www.sharedjourney.com/articles/fam.html
• http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html
• http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/infertility/etiquette.htm

I don't know?

I had a friend ask me today when I was going to start having babies.  When I am asked these questions or ones similar I feel this overwhelming need to just bawl my eyes out like a baby.  I feel like this question triggers all the heartbreak and sorrow within me.  I mean how am I supposed to answer this question?  I hate to try to explain (mostly because I can’t get through it without crying.)  I can’t seem to explain to anyone all the chaotic feelings that are inside of me.  I know that most people don’t want to know my whole infertility and life story.  These people who ask this question and others really aren’t trying to hurt me on purpose.  I have to remind myself that they just don’t understand.  So I usually just go with:  1) “Whenever they decide they want to come.” Or 2) “I don’t know, maybe one of these days.” Not always the best answer but hey it will do for now.

You're so Vain!

I really don’t understand why some people have problems with pictures.  I love to take pictures.  I love having pictures of my family and friends.  I treasure all my pictures this includes formal, candid, the goofy, the cute, the silly, the mad and the sad.  I love them all. 

I have a few family members who complain about their pictures (Every Time).  It is driving me crazy!! They are just never satisfied with any picture.  If they aren’t model ready or perfectly posed in their opinion then they hate the pictures.  Every picture taken is under intense scrutiny for the slightest flaw.  Now, I can understand this for a formal family picture that will be hanging on your Mother’s, Sister’s, Brother’s, Grandmother’s and etc. wall (aka The Living Room Wall or The Brag Wall).   I just don’t get it when it comes to candid shots.  I have good and bad candid pictures of myself and I don’t care.  Actually, the bad pictures are the best.  I always laugh the hardest at those pictures.  I guess I feel that is you just relax, have fun, enjoy and don’t take yourself too seriously then you always have good pictures.

Infertility on TV

Maybe it’s just me but it seems like more and more shows are talking about infertility. 

·         Last night I was watching TLC’s “The Little Couple”.  This show chronicles the life of Jen and Bill Arnold.  On the show they were going through the process of surrogacy. 

·         Then I was flipping through channels and “Chloe and Lamar” on E channel was on and the show was about how Chloe was being tested for infertility. 

·         ‘Pregnant in Heels” on Bravo channel is about Rosie Pope who has struggled with infertility.  Not to mention that several of her clients have also run into infertility issues before their pregnancies. 

I could go on and on about the different show lately.  I don’t really think that there is more out there.  I just think that maybe I am noticing it more because of my own situation.  The other reason why I think I am seeing this more is because I think it has become more acceptable to talk about infertility.  I think that infertility is no longer this deep dark shameful secret. 

I know that personally I like to share others stories.  It helps me to deal with my own story and also I feel like I am educated a little bit more which each story that I hear.  I see that my feeling and up and downs are normal.  I don’t feel so alone in this process because others know what I feel and what I am going through.